Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
