Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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