It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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