this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
