She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
