what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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