I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so let's talk penis.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think I sprained my soul last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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