the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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