With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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