I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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