i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
