need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
