Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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