dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize