I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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