Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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