I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
