It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
