You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So much Jack, so little girl.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
