Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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