Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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