I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
