Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
