Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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