Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
