conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
