doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
