he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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