They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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