with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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