nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
