all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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