Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize