Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
how does that bad decision feel?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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