Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
