He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
