she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
