Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
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I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
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I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize