You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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