you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
