he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
