How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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