yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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