I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
