he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
