hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
