My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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