So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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