My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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