It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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