I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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