jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
