Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
