No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
