He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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