The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
