i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
