So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
