Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
